The Vortekz Legacy: Gen 1.1

Welcome to my new TS3 ISBI legacy. Now that I can get it to run on my computer, I’m going to alternate between TS3 and TS2.

What’s with the surname? Well, I’m not being l33t, it’s in the same theme as the Moxleys. Wrestling. I borrowed Scotty Vortekz’s surname. Let’s hope he doesn’t mind. Wrestlers have the best surnames. I’m saving the wrestling first names for the Moxleys, so my first torchholder has a first name that begins with A, her kids will have B names, etc. And yes, I’m going to recycle Ava, because it’s such a pretty name.

I have all the EPs except Late Night and Island Paradise, and no stuff packs. I’ve barely played TS3 at all, so everything is new and exciting to me, and I will squee long and hard about it. So if you’re a jaded veteran of TS3, my silly exclamations may not be what you’re looking for.

My lifespan lengths are:

• Baby: 2 days
• Toddler: 2 days
• Child: 7 days
• Teen: 12 days
• YA: 21 days
• Adult: 21 days
• Elder: 7 days

My torch holder is called Ava, she’s a dramatic, eccentric, irresistible kleptomaniac who loves cats. Her LTW is to reach the top of the criminal career. I considered the other theft one, but remembered that I don’t know how to play this game, we’re gen 1 and broke, and we need to find a spouse, so maybe leave the harder LTWs for later, once I’ve got the hang of it.

Warnings: Swearing, CAPSLOCK OF RAGE (AND OTHER EMOTIONS), incoherrent rambling, and annoying references to wrestling.

Well, the point is to experience everything of TS3, so sure. LET’S DO THIS THING!

Ava: Look at the pretty butterfly! I love it.

Yeah, this was not what I pictured when they said bugs. Do you have to catch them? Well, I suppose if the challenge demands it. Sorry, butterflies.

Ava: I feel better about killing roaches!

Kill them quick! They’re like the animals in Gone by Michael Grant. Stomp the bastards before they eat you!

…

Did someone put a fucking vortex in my front yard?

Whatever you’re doing, llama, stop it now.

Llama Dude: Not my fault. I’m from University, the portal is from Into the Future.

Oh. Right. Well, I’ll investigate that later, when Ava’s not killing bugs the size of her feet.

A scientist showed up, supposedly to collect the bugs, but I couldn’t interact with her except “greet”, which I did about nine times in the hopes it would unlock other interactions. It did not. So I moved on to the other visitors. That cat is Ava’s and she’s called Sprite, and the long-haired dude is called Shawnee Fox, and the guy to his right is Calvin… something.

I tried to get a cute pic of Sprite, but she was too wriggly. She is called Sprite after a character wrote about a zillion years ago. Her colouring was chosen because of her name.

The house came with this picture. It’s perfect for her.

While we’re at it, this is Ava’s house. I hope my first purchase of property is as good as hers. She has a nice sized house, loads of land and a lake. Ok, it might just be a really big pond, but whatever. Lake sounds better.

So… might have accidentally left in my cheat which reduces the cost of those bonus things. I tried to be good for all of three seconds, before buying “perceptive” at the bargain rate. Shawnee looks like perfect spouse material.

But Calvin would also make a good spouse too.

Brilliant, thanks for showing up. This was totally worth it. And no, we didn’t get any money for it. Ava still had the butterflies in her inventory, so I had her set them free. I was sure I capped it, but apparently not.

After everyone leaves, I have Ava call up Shawnee. He was single when she met him, but this game moves at the speed of light, so we need to snag that man as fast as we can, so a nice chat will boost their friendship.

Then it’s grooming time for Sprite, who is a neat and playful hunter, so loves a good grooming.

I had about a zillion pics of Sprite sleeping, because she’s so cute.

Ava reaches not for the wolf book, but for the Twilight ripoff.

Awww, she drinks from the pond. That’s so cute.

My cats are too old and jaded to play with a laser pointer. This warms the cockles of my black black heart.

The next day, Ava sets out to work. Pants, Ava. Pants. You forgot them.

… or the criminal career got a lot darker between TS2 and TS3?

Oh god, this is where you work? Sweetie, what did you sign up for?

You’re going in there? With no pants? Really?

Only satanists use umbrellas in the blazing sunshine, Calvin. I learned that from Ghost World.

Oh god, shortest legacy ever…?

Never. Tell. Me.

Ava came home massively stressed, and wanted to karaoke the stress away. Unfortunately she was too tired to do anything other than sleep.

When did you have time to do that? At work? I don’t think you’re supposed to steal from an organised crime ring. Not when they have a cave system where they can dispose of bodies.

I have never seen this moodlet when a sim is not pregnant. I guess Ava’s finding a life of crime to be incredibly stressful. Or she’s just realised how daft it is to steal (what I later found out to be) a set of steak knives from the mafia boss.

By the way, while I may be clueless about most things TS3, I know enough to make my founder’s favourite food entry level, so she can be delighted every time she makes it.

Hey there, random tacked up horse. Did you throw your rider? I wanted Ava to steal the horse, but no interactions were available other than pet, and she was too busy eating before she passed out.

Who cares, we have the cutest pet ever anyway.

Sprite: BEHOLD MY WOLVERINE CLAWS!

Real life? Not allowed. In game? CUTEST. THING. EVAH.

And this continues to be adorable too.

Winning at life. She also got promoted. Just goes to show: put in the effort, don’t be late, and show your girl parts to the boss without flinching and it all gets rewarded.

Woman, you have nerves of steel to go riding barefoot. My pony was my BFF when I was 12, but I wouldn’t have trusted her not to squish my little toesies by mistake. Also, your horse is beautiful. Can kleptos steal horses…?

No, we’re not starting a riding stable. We’re in breed mode. Right, let’s go grab Shawnee before he finds someone else.

(Hey, Carla. Breed mode. Like Brie Mode, only with a D. Heh. And isn’t Brie in Breed Mode at the moment? – sorry, wrestling reference. You can ignore them.)

YOU WILL BE OURS! AVA WILL BE PREGNANT BEFORE THE NIGHT IS THROUGH!

Oh. Cool.

Well, he turned up. That’s a good start.

Ava: So, I’m glad you made it, it’s really nice to – did a big white horse just gallop past me?

Shawnee: Yeah. That happens here. Just roll with it.

Suddenly: Zombies.

Also, Shawnee hates every topic that Ava proposes. He finds it boring. Even gardening. HE HAS THE GREEN THUMB TRAIT.

Last ditch effort.

Shawnee: Yuck! Don’t you float your little heart shaped kisses over to me, you boring piece of trash. I HATE YOU.

You know what, Shawnee? Go fuck yourself. I hate you. You’re not good enough for Ava. You heard me. She’s AWESOME. And you are not hot enough to have the surname Fox. Yeah. Have that you wank puffin.

IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT.

WHY HAVE YOU ROLLED THE WANT TO HAVE A DATE WITH HIM? HE IS HORRIBLE AND SNOOTY AND BORING AND IF THAT’S YOUR TYPE I’LL ROLL UP A NEW FOUNDER RIGHT HERE AND NOW.

Let’s try and salvage the night. Ava, steal that horse.

NO! Just steal the damned horse.

Brilliant. Several hours of neglect have really paid off when it comes to training.

Ava then has a queue of people wanting to talk to her. None of them are single.

She strikes up a great conversation with Hailey Shepherd. It’s going so well that I enabled same sex pregnancy between two females.

THEN WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING DATING AVA TWO SECONDS BEFORE YOUR WIFE GAVE BIRTH? GO TO HELL YOU SKEEVY BLIGHTER.

YES! THERE IS! MARRY AVA NOW!

Hailey then arched her back and rubbed her belly. Pregnant. Awesome.

Well, Ava’s on a spouse hunt, so sorry Hailey, you seem really nice, but we have to move on.

Ava rolled the want to social network, and I thought her angst might make a nice blog post.

Subtle, isn’t it?

Right, who else can we flirt with? Ah, anyone with a phone. Get on that, Ava.

That’s a thing? Match.com it is.

This is how not picky we are. Literally all we care about is that the person is the same age.

It finds us someone called Raymond Huston, and Ava and I are so delighted, we text him as he’s on his way to us.

Raymond: Your text is so awesome I must thrust my phone through your torso!

Ava:… uh, thanks?

*perks up* TELL ME MOAR.

In quick succession I learn that Raymond is family oriented, athletic, and most importantly…

Ava: You’re the one.

Raymond: What?

Ava: I’ve got a loud screetchy voice in my head screaming “MARRY HIM NOW, AVA! HE’S PERFECT!”

Raymond: Oh, how lovely.

I have Ava try blowing him a kiss, and despite the terror in his eyes in this cap, he’s completely besotted with her. Guess he wasn’t expecting her to look as good as her profile on match.com.

Yes, Ava. Let’s do that.

How could you turn that down?

Tiredness. Tiredness is apparently why you turn down a date with Ava. Well, I’m not giving up on him. He’s perfect.

Ava goes in for a kiss and gets one.

Because they’re both dramatic, they cry over their first kiss. It’s adorable.

Suddenly: MOAR ZOMBIES. I hope Sprite’s ok and they haven’t eaten her or anything.

This zombie is not a fan of the PDA.

Ava: So, it’s getting a bit Zombieland around here. Wanna go back to mine.

Raymond: Eh? Ok then.

Ava: And since you’re here, and there’s all those zombies out there, would you like to stay over? You know, just so you don’t get your brains eaten. Not because I’m on a mission here.

Yes, game. They’ll be watching The Breakfast Club and painting each other’s nails. Absolutely.

Oh, that’s cute.

SHOWER WOO-HOO TIME.

If the shower’s a-rockin’…

Ava: Honey, um, are you awake…?

Raymond: zzzzz

Raymond wakes up, and I hit “try for baby”. Because this game will have him married and fathering kids unless I can lock him down. And I’m happy to trap him with kids to keep him.

Awww, they’re so cute.

Final Scores
Torch-Holders	1
Pass Outs	0
Self-Wettings	0
Fights	0
Fires	0
Social Worker Visits	0
Accidental Deaths	0
Special Tombstones v Regular	0 v 0
LTW Achieved	0
Reach Top of a Career:	0