The Moxley Legacy: Gen 2.1
*adopts serious voice* Previously on the Moxley Legacy…
Our founder, Mickie, found NOBODY IN THE WORLD except for Harriet, so we married her and had two sets of twins: Tyson and Nattie, and Nikki and Brie.
Nattie became Little Miss Perfect despite the game’s insistence she missed ONE WHOLE DAY OF SCHOOL, Tyson started to unravel with unfulfilled family wants (ha!), Nikki realised she was the most beautiful thing in the world and Brie refused to react to anything, just like her mother, Harriet.
I sent them to college, and cheated a little to play Mickie up to the top of her career. She is now perma-plat.
I never announced it, but Nikki is heir.
Because I knew I’d never remember to get them all together post-makeover to take a pic, here’s the loading screen.
How on earth is Little Miss Perfect growing up badly? She’s in college. She’s a knowledge sim. WFT, game?
While we’re here, let’s see what bullets I dodged with the other kids’ LTWs.
You know how some people are shy little violets until they get to college, then they go wild? Kinda thinking that might be Brie. Kinda thinking I acted rashly when I chose Nikki for heir.
Sorry, Alien Dude, if the Moxleys picking their dorm rooms wasn’t exciting enough for you, but nobody invited you over. In fact, you’re a dormie, so again I say: WTF, GAME?
This dude is called Cedric. Yeah. I know. Originally I only capped it because — PRIDE — that’s a shirt I made turning up randomly on a dormie, and it’s a CM Punk shirt. Later, this dude confuses the hell out of me. And him thinking of Brie as he moves in is called foreshadowing.
FIRST SOCIAL BUNNY VISIT! OMG! LITERALLY HAVE NEVER HAD THIS OUTSIDE OF THE ASYLUM CHALLENGE! SQUEEEEEE!
… wait, wut?
Understandable reaction. The only understandable thing in all of this, so far.
This would be me Fail #6: I hid every single Maxis item in bodyshop, but failed to townify many male clothes. Two more social bunnies and three santas move in later, but I InSim-ed them into normal clothing before it could get much more confusing than the following caps.
I don’t know what you expected, Harry/Bunny, proposing to a dorm cook. Everyone knows they are angry sims who hate everyone.
Harry/Bunny: Oh god, what was I thinking? To think a cafeteria goddess* would want me!
Brie: *searing indifference*
Tyson: I’m just peeing here! I’m not getting involved in drama this early in college!
* I say goddess, I’m still not sure of the gender.
Brie: I hate furries!
Brie! You made a facial expression.
Brie: No, I didn’t. Never did such a thing. *serene*
Brie: Oh man the fuck up before I give you something to really cry about!
(I picked the wrong heir, clearly Brie has been holding on to lots of emotions over the years, and now they are going to come out in scowls, threats and violence. OMG, I FUCKING LOVE HER.)
Just so we’re clear: Brie will cut a bitch if they offend her in any way. Or just because.
SHE WILL FUCKING CUT YOU, DO YOU GET IT?
This, I did not get. At first I thought Brie was the kind of girl who thinks Eminem’s Love The Way You Lie is romance done right. Then I figured out there were two bunnies in there with her. Two.
Also, Tyson? Still in the stall behind her. Not peeing, not cleaning, just hiding because he too knows that Brie will cut a bitch.
To clarify, Brie was picking on Harry. But she likes Cedric. The guy who earlier was wearing the CM Punk shirt. I don’t know why he’s now a bunny.
And well done, Tyson, for venturing out of the stall.
Yes, I was right. This is Harry playing pool with Nattie. TO INSIM!
Oh good, a mascot. Like I wasn’t confused enough. And like there aren’t enough furries in the house. Don’t get me wrong, I can tell a cow from a giant pink bunny, but after they all go for a swim/get in the hot tub/play strip poker, etc, I have no idea who these people are or what they want from me.
Oh yeah… *giggle* I had completely forgotten about this little hack. I know everyone’s seen it all before, but Wing usually plays vanilla, so she hasn’t, and I still think it’s funny.
NOT THE HEIR’S WOMB! BE CAREFUL WHERE YOU’RE POINTING THAT THING!
I wants me some alien genes in this legacy, so I sent Nikki over to talk to the Destroyer of Wombs. Since Nikki’s a grilled cheese sim, this is her only topic of conversation.
Wild stab in the dark? The Destroyer of Wombs is not a grilled cheese sim.
So, I thought it would be funny to give them secondary grilled cheese aspirations after Nattie randomly rolled it. I’m a fucking idiot.
SANTA! And both bunnies are now wearing normal clothes. Or Harry moved out and we got a non-bunny as a replacement. I didn’t really work hard to keep track. I was too busy being stunned that Nikki’s wants panel had something non-cheese related in there.
While typing up this recap I noticed that while I point out endlessly that Brie has no facial expression, Nikki has the same problem. It’s just her “resting face” is a kind of stoned serenity, whereas Brie’s is just completely blank. And yes, I noticed that while she was streaking. Nikki, hon, many you’re not destined to be a great streaker.
I had Nikki scope the room. Given that in the room is her brother, Santa, and two furries, I’m effing delighted she wanted the hot alien I’d already picked out for her. I’m not saying she had no choice, I’d have gone along with her, just pleased she went for the hot alien genes, Garruck, The Destroyer of Wombs. This family is too pale at the moment.
Why is he called Garruck? Because I asked my husband for alien names. Boys know about aliens, right? (Also, Wing wasn’t available to ask. She knows about aliens too.) The other alien is his twin brother, Sorin.
Nikki: So, strip poker, eh? Gosh, I hope I don’t lose and have to take off all my clothes in front of you.
Garruck: It’s ok, I saw you streaking before.
Yeah, no, Brie. Go back to cutting bitches. You can’t have Garruck. Nikki’s heir. But he has a hot twin brother.
Awww, who’s a good little grilled cheese sim?
To quote Stone Cold Steve Austin: WHAT?
Tyson: I hear you have a new hobby of cutting bitches?
Brie: … maybe?
Tyson: Well, it’s just I don’t want you to cut me when I tell you that you reek, Brie.
Brie: … no, that’s fine, Ty. *polite smile*
Tyson: *awkward* om-nom-nom.
Brie: I need to find a bitch to cut.
Brie: Honestly, Ty, it’s fine. We’re family.
Tyson: *is terrified*
Brie: So who do you think I should cut?
Clueless Dormie with odd genetics: Hiiiiii! PLUS-PLUS-FRIENDSHIP-YAY!
Brie: She’ll do.
Clueless Dormie with odd genetics: OM-NOM-NOM.
Brie: Bitch, if you spatter me with food again, I will cut you!
Tyson: *leaves hurriedly*
Little Miss Perfect, who spent her entire toddler/kid/teen-hood skilling? Cannot be pulled away from the strip poker table. She will miss class to play against absolutely nobody. I kind of love her again.
Hey, remember how Brie’s into Nikki’s intended? Well, Sorin must fulfil whichever turn-ons she has, right, since they’ve got the same genetics? Which is great, because he cannot walk into a room without heart-farting over her.
Nattie: So, I noticed you checking out my twin. Go over there and tell her that she reminds you of grilled cheese, ok? She’ll love that.
Sorin: You want me to tell her what?
Nikki: Trust me, I’m her twin. I know.
Sorin: Uh… your dress looks like melted cheese?
Brie: That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me. I might not have to cut a bitch today.
And that’s it. That’s how they fell in love. One single interaction and they’re IN LOVE. It’s like Twilight, only with hotter guys and more bitch cutting.
Brie Moxley: Still more facial expressions than Kirsten Stewart.
D’awww! Who’s a happy little simmie? You can smile if you want. I won’t make fun of you.
Brie: No thank you, I will resume my placid face, than you.
Oh, and Brie deserves to wear the Brie Mode t-shirt. The red is perfect for when you want to cut bitches but don’t want the blood to stain.
Brie: On that note, I have bitches to cut.
This twelve year old came over and informed me he was Nikki’s professor. I assumed that he would know what his class was about, so I influenced him to write our term paper. He took the influence points and fucked off. Not the greatest success ever.
Then to perk Nikki up, I put her on a date with Garruck.
These two have massive chemistry. Not quite Brie/Sorin levels, where one conversation puts them very much in love forever, but it only takes a quick flirt to get them crushing.
Despite Garruck’s issues, first kiss is a go!
Garruck: OMG, I LOVE YOU! Even so, I’d still love to bang your sister.
Nikki: Huh? Oh, Love you too.
Nikki, now that she’s stopped staring at herself in the mirror, has just become a stoner, she just grins at everything.
Garruck: Mmmmmmm, Nattie Nikki!
Now, isn’t that nice? Brie took time out of her busy bitch-cutting schedule to cheer on her sister’s de-virginisation. As did Tyson, but I’m convinced that has more to do with being terrified that Brie will cut him if he doesn’t do what she says.
Naked Santa: I heard there was an orgy! I’m good to go… wait, did I miss it?
Entire Room: Welp, this is awkward. Put some clothes on, naked Santa.
GARRUCK ♥ NIKKI 4EVA!
Brie: STOP! BITCH CUTTING TIME!
Nattie is so stoned she hasn’t noticed her twin bitch-slapped a guy right through her torso. And guess what? There’s no “bubble blower” on the lot.
Underwear Chick: Woo! SEX WAS HAD IN THE PHOTO BOOTH!
Brie’s Battered Bitch: I think I have a concussion. I swear they were done with the photo booth ages ago.
Garruck: No, you don’t have a concussion, she’s just slow on the uptake.
Brie, her Battered Bitch and Underwear Chick: Stay the fuck out of this, Garruck! Or we will cut you.
Twin sister in a fist fight? Time for sex.
Sadly, they could not get into the booth thanks to the fisticuffs in front of it.
Welp, with the fight cleared, it was back to the photo booth. The gym coach patiently waited outside for Nikki. That’s dedication. Not sure I’d listen to two sweaty freshman going at it, even if it was for the greater good.
Nikki: That was awesome.
Coach: Not the athletics I was suggesting. Now work out.
I’m ok with this, actually. I have a shirt I want Nikki to wear, but I don’t have any bottoms with a fat morph to make it look good. She’s been working out here and there, trying to shed the pounds, but for some reason, she’s chubby. The other three are bordering on ripped. Why is it always Nikki that’s the odd one out? They all aged up well, she didn’t. They’re all fit, she’s chubby. They all had loads of skill points, she had none. I love her. 😀
Coach: Now keep doing that until you’re thin or dead.
Nix, don’t listen to him. Keep doing that until common sense tells you to stop.
Haha! I caught you, you stealthy minx! She and Sorin are completely in love. It’s adorable. With Sorin around, Brie only has to cut half as many bitches as she would otherwise.
Underwear-clad Mascot: VO GERBITS!
(Unless you’re Elizabeth Wakefield, crying after sex is not a good thing.)
What’s up, boo? Want me to find a bitch to cut? There’s one behind you in her undies.
In an attempt to get Nattie away from the poker table, I have Nikki lure her over to the chess table. Although it now occurs to me that I have never seen Nattie not dressed. And my table is a strip poker table. Girl’s got game.
You are beautiful. When I have a male heir or another lesbian, you are totally getting impregnated.
(Real Bella twins in the background – Nikki on the left, Brie on the right, thanks to the angle, Brie looks like the Joker.)
Oh yeah, Nikki can now conjure grilled cheese. I love that grin. So, how are we doing on that lifetime want of eating 200 grilled cheese?
Yes, let’s talk about this again.
No wonder Nat can’t wait to get away. And like I said, she never loses this game. Though she’s sitting next to her twin. Who is naked. That’s sort of like losing.
I’m not saying Nikki’s unpopular, but nobody ever sits with her deliberately.
Since she’d had this want for awhile, I decided to indulge, and it means we have nice alien babies coming our way.
Garruck: Oooh, it’s shiny.
Garruck: It’s really shiny.
Bitches Brie might cut today? The cook, if it doesn’t learn to step the fuck back.
As someone who plays with headphones, so as not to disturb those around her, I can assure you, quite categorically, this did not sound good.
Bitches that Brie didn’t get around to cutting because other bitches were in the way? The cook. Though they still need to step the fuck back.
And just think, Brie fancied you when you first moved in.
Brie: Now, tell all your friends: BRIE MOXLEY WILL CUT A BITCH FOR MESSING WITH HER GRILLED CHEESE!
I see you smirking. God, I wish you were heir. If we survive this, I might make it a double-heir thing.
If your week was so amazing, why do you look so pained?
We’re not friends. We were never friends. You were some annoyance that my mother brought home twice after work. You and I never interacted, much less built a friendship. Would it kill you to not leave snotty voicemails acting all hurt as if I walked out on something beautiful? To quote Peter Capaldi (again): Fuck the fuck off.
Love, The Moxleys. ALL of them.
PS: Brie Moxley will cut you if you keep this shit up.
OMFG, IT’S DAMIEN SANDOW. I called Wing to tell her about this. That’s how important it was.
Yes, yes, cheaty, cheaty. The lamp was right there. And we keep losing all of our money on the poker table.
I’ll admit, bit of a gamble, leaving the hacked telescope for all and sundry to use.
Still, it is funny though.
Nobody in the entire dorm: *cares*
Brie: OMG, I just heard Tyson was abducted. Are you ok, Nix?
Nikki: I’m fine. Are you ok?
Brie: I’m ok. I’ll cut a bitch if they tried to abduct you.
Tyson: I’m not ok! I’m in outer space!
I wish I’d capped the other side of this conversation. I have no funny text though. Their conversations that aren’t about cheese or cutting bitches now probably go:
Brie: I’ll cut you alien bitches!
Naked Sorin: Hey! On behalf of my people–
Brie: Don’t start with me!
Naked Sorin: Bwahahahahaha!
Everyone else: How awful!
Naked Sorin: What? This is my people’s way of saying hi.
Since everyone then started laughing at Tyson, I sent Nikki over to hug him. I thought Brie might at least follow through with her threat to cut some alien bitches, but she went back to her passive status.
Nikki: Look, my brother’s been through a terrible ordeal, and he’s always said you were pretty —
Tyson: *sniffle* I said no — *sob* — such thing —
Nikki: Working here, bro. So, yeah, why don’t you go over and see if you can make him feel better?
Tyson: *whimper* Don’t touch me. *sniffle* My sister is Brie Moxley — she’ll cut a bitch for touching me.
With hindsight, probably not the best way to cheer him up. Nikki and I meant well though.
When I noticed we were this close to the exams, I decided to fill the kids full of caffeine. Forgetting, of course, the reasons I NEVER use the expresso machine:
- Takes a billion Sim hours to make the expresso
- Sims won’t autonomously drink the expresso
- They will, however, queue up to juggle the fucking cups
- On the subject of cups, they will never put them down somewhere sensible. They will always pick the furthest place away from them, even if they have to swim across a pool to get there.
- After spending a week putting the cup down, they’re just as tired as they were before the alleged “caffeine boost”.
In other news, Nikki slimmed down enough to wear her “Fearless Nikki” shirt.
In other news, Brie found a hobby she likes almost as much as cutting bitches. I do find it weird she chose to streak in front of her twin though.
So, to recap what everyone is doing before the exam. Nikki: napping; Brie: streaking;
Tyson: worrying a lot.
Nattie: juggling in her underwear. I bet you guys thought she’d be at the poker table. Yeah, that was before we bought an expresso machine. I will be selling it back as soon as possible.
Nikki: Don’t worry, Ty. I see a date — with a human — in your future very soon.
Nikki and I have decided that we’re going to use Tyson’s one YA command to send him on a date, where I will control him until the end of the date. We just feel really sorry for him. I’m also going to do the same thing for Nattie. No need with Brie, who keeps herself happy on a steady diet of banging her boyfriend and cutting bitches.
The kids all managed to get to their exam and…
Attending exams prompted Nattie and Brie to become best friends.
Brie: Understand this, we are now best friends. I will cut bitches for you.
Nattie: Really? What about that girl in the long dress?
Brie: Totally cut her for you! 😀
Tyson: Ignore them, they have issues.
The overdressed girl is called Kerry, and she’s the last hope Tyson has of not completely unravelling during college. He’s on a date.
*wibbles* Ahh, they’re both shy.
So shy that Tyson would rather speak to his twin than the pretty girl he heart-farts over. Dating: UR doing it wrong.
This is them doing a duet. I know the body language screams “awkward apology” but that’s what you get with shy sims.
I think Brie set the bar too high with her “one conversation = in love forever” thing, this is hard work.
Or not. Why do sims immediately walk away once they fall in love or crush with someone? It’s like that’s how you know it’s real. OMG I LOVE YOU *RUN AWAY*
Tyson immediately wanted to play red hands with Nattie, but no. He’s been having issues since his mid-teen years about not yet falling in love, it’s about damned time he gets his first kiss.
Tyson: I kissed her, and you want me to what?
Hold her hand.
Tyson: OMG, I can’t believe you.
Walking away? Must be true love.
Brie: Way to go, big brother! You bone that girl! And Kerry! If you hurt my brother, I will cut you.
Nattie: Are you threatening to cut bitches again?
Brie: Yup, but it’s for Tyson. But anyway, I’ve got doofus next to me if I feel the need to get violent.
Well, that’s one half of the twinset happy. Now on to Nattie.
This is Matthew.
And he’s somewhat easier to win over than Kerry. While she and Tyson just wanted to tickle each other and sing duets, Matthew’s wants are all a bit more to the point. One interaction puts them in crush, and after that they’re all over each other.
Until the blasted cow mascot appears, and everyone drops what they’re doing to witness the reaction to the cow head.
And then Brie feels the need to cut a bitch. Matthew, sensibly sides with Brie on this.
Plant sim with a surname of “Woods”. *smirk*
Right, are we done being interrupted? Brilliant. Snog time.
These two are so in love they manage to stay around each other after falling in love.
Look at the Moxley win! Brie is next to the bitch she likes to cut best, and is still submitting to flirts. Nattie’s snogging and Tyson is awkwardly trying to get away from the girl he loves.
Nattie did manage to get laid before they all had to get to class.
Which left Kerry and Matthew free to do this.
Brie’s Battered Bitch: Oooh, Brie is not going to like this. Maybe she’ll beat them up instead of me.
I hate the pair of you.
I see you with your flowers of guilt.
If they’re not for Nattie, you’re in big trouble. And seriously? Just flowers? Where’s my swag? The whole point of going on a dream date is the free stuff they give you out of gratitude.
Brie: still winning at life.
Tyson has now been invited to the community lot for art.
(Also, Seth Rollins picture in the background. When will you paint me a Dean Ambrose?)
That’s more like it. We accept lots of gifts.
Top one? Wing’s Sim, wearing a Dolph Ziggler t-shirt. Also a vampire.
Mickie’s losing touch with her kids? That’s a bit worrying.
HA! FUCK YOU PASSIVE-AGRESSIVE BITCH! WE DON’T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU ANYWAY! FUCK THE FUCK OFF!
Brie’s Battered Bitch:… wait? She’s not beating on me?
Brie: Right! WHO’S NEXT?
Brie’s Battered Bitch: If I stand really still, she’ll never figure out I’m here.
Yeah, no, this does not count towards the fires count.
I have no idea why I capped this. I could delete it, but the girls look so cute in their winter wear.
I am so close to making Brie a duel heir. I love her so much, but would she be less interesting if I actually started controlling her? Wing? Decisions please!
There is not much fail in this legacy.
|Fights||5 (all Brie)|
|Social Bunny Visits||0|
|Social Worker Visits||0|
|Special Tombstones v Regular||0 v 0|