Last we left off, Dove was pregnant, her brothers and sisters had resigned themselves to a long tragic existence as townies, and Ava’s right nipple was constantly on show. Oh, and Dove was in labour.
Dove: giving birth. Men: panicking. Ava: swooning. Priorities, Ava needs them.
Ava, why pull that face, you’re the one who wants six grandchildren. I did mention that her other kids have been shagging for babies, right? Dove only needs to have three.
That’s one. And again, Ava and Captain Dumbass have other things on their minds.
Ava: Hi thar new baby!
And a second on the way. Thank you cheesecake.
Baby’s face stuffed in his pits, check. Scowl on face, check.
I bitch about him all the time, but I really do love Captain Dumbass.
Baby 1: Gage – grey eyes,presumably a hand-me-down from Captain Dumbass, and Dove’s skintone.
Baby 2: Gabriel – green eyes and skintone both from Dove.
Ava: I’m totally a hot granny.
You can fuck right off with that want, Ava.
Hi, nanny. Watchya doin’?
Gage on floor. Great.
And back in crib. Awesome. Was it worth it?
Stinky Gabriel, what’s the nanny going to do?
Bugger me, she changed him!
And on the floor for Gabriel. And this happened for their entire babyhood.
So, birthday time, nothing really happened except for the Nanny kept failing, and who hasn’t seen that a zillion times before? I have no idea which baby this might be. I’d guess Gabriel, because I always try to do these things alphabetically to make life easier on the write-up.
Yep, it’s Gabriel.
Captain Dumbass is already sick of being a grandparent. Can we get a close-up on the face?
Awesome. Love him.
Last shot of Gage as a baby.
Um, so Gabriel is interesting looking. But then, the last batch of kids were hideous as toddlers, so I’m not bothered.
Gage is a bit emo. That’s his usual face state.
Now, a quick look at the wants panels. I did have Ava’s too, which was chock-full of wants relating to the kids, but I appear to have deleted it.
And Atkins and Dove. I don’t think they even know they have children.
Um, guys, don’t you think you should deal with the babies you have, before trying for more?
Captain Dumbass might not have been the most awesome parent on the plant, but he’s a great granddad!
And his dumb makes me happy!
Please note: Ava: teaching Gabriel to walk; Captain Dumbass: Potty training Gage; Atkins and Dove: snogging each other senseless.
Atkins: I just totally taught Gage to walk.
Me: No you didn’t, you just did the last three minutes when Captain Dumbass had to leave for work.
Please note that the kids love Ava and Captain Dumbass more than their own parents.
Gabriel is totally copying Gage’s work.
Here we go again. It’s all for Ava’s LTW.
Yes, Dove, I too *facepalm* at the idea of you being a mother again.
Dove sees something scandalous, though what, I have no idea.
And then gets stuck like that, forcing me to reload.
Ava got bored and make a snowman. I sense that Dove isn’t impressed.
And I always thought she was so nice.
Paedo-ghost puts in an appearance.
Nerves of steel: Dove lacks them.
I forced Atkins to show an interest in his son, but quite frankly, he wasn’t interested.
While Ava atonomously dotes on Gage.
Sidenote: Peggy, I love-love-love this outfit. Though a little less when it does this.
Ava, that’s just not appropriate.
Ava: So, are you into bondage?
Atkins: No! I have a totally vanilla relationship with your daughter. We’ve not even done it in the hot tub.
Dove: *pops hard enough to break her neck*
Ah, that chipmunk gene is showing itself.
Ava, again, this is not appropriate.
Oh yes, that’s much better.
Even Atkins is disturbed.
Dove gets a phone call from someone she’s never met.
Dove: So, being a grown-up is pretty meh. I’m not impressed so far.
Dove: I totally want to move away like now!
This was her energy level when she answered the phone. She spoke for several sim hours.
Predictably, this happens.
Points for effort, Dove. Although that is your parents’ bed.
Ava: *worryworryworry incloseup*
Atkins wants to get his bronze badge in cosmetology.
I suspect this is not going to help.
Nor this. What amazes me is that Sims will happily go back after two botched jobs, or get makeovers from their enemies.
While commending Captain Dumbass for caring how his grandkids grow up, I have to ask who this vampire is that he’s allegedly in love with.
Atkins needs a charisma point to get a promotion. He is under the impression that he’s using the podium.
These people also believe that he’s using it.
I’m in ur snow using ur invisible podium.
Quick show of hands, who here thinks my lot is a little gliched?
Atkins thinks the Not-Mum is hot. Even though she’s dead. And not currently haunting.
Birthday time for Gage.
Please note the absence of his own parents. At least we have Random Makeover Guy to make up the numbers.
Random Makeover Guy: I am most concerned about your family.
Holy crap! Dove is attending the birthday of one of her children!
Dove: I went to university. I’m too clever to waste time dealing with small people.
Note the thought bubbles: nobody present cares about the birthday.
Gabriel, who hates hates his new look.
I quite like it.
The twins are constantly telling each other secrets about Dove. Since they barely know her, I suspect they’re making stuff up. Or Ava is telling them.
We interrupt this legacy to bring breaking news: Our ghosts are complete cocks.
</end ghosts being cocks picspam>
At this point, I put the graves in Dove’s inventory, because nobody was getting any sleep.
Atkins: Congratulations on loving me. I’m awesome.
The kids absolutely adore their grandparents, but don’t have much time for Dove or Atkins.
I guess that’s because their grandparents actually choose to hang out with them.
Unlike Atkins and Dove, who only want to shag each other senseless.
Dove, that’s a big fat lie. You have taught these kids nothing.
This is a more honest family portrait.
Atkins: *tries to work out who the small person in the red jumper is… eventually decides that Captain Dumbass must have shrunk*
Ava: Hello baby, I can’t wait to meet you and teach you things because your parents don’t want to…
Ava: … and Captain Dumbass will be like a father to you because, hot as Atkins is, he’s useless too.
Stop! Baby time!
Captain Dumbass – always excellent in a crisis.
Ava, you’ve changed your tune. What happened to “I can’t wait to meet you”?
The men of the house are Not Happy.
Ava gets lifetime platinum, and rolls two ridiculous wants. I shall ignore her from now on.
Gage: Ick! What is it?
That’s someone WITHOUT green or grey eyes, that’s what!
Thank you, Atkins.
Don’t worry, Gage, you’re in a legacy, people expect the fail.
You too, kiddo.
So, Gage brought a friend home.
Ah, and Gabriel is following in his mother’s footsteps.
Dove managed to not get fired today.
Gage: Mum and Nan are from outer space.
Gage: They’re totally spacemen. Or spacewomen. Whatever.
Gabriel: Don’t be stupid. They’re obviously aliens.
Captain Dumbass > Atkins
Gabriel: So, how come the grandparents are more awesome than you?
Atkins: I’m sorry, you are…?
Dove: Even Mr Moo-Cow thinks you should move out.
Ava = Epic pride over demotion.
Ava: I am so awesome.
Ava: … oh, wait…
Hey, look, new nanny!
Um, and we still have the old nanny.
Oh, I finally did up the kids’ room. It’s… uh, blue. I suck at houses.
Atkins is not happy that it’s birthday time again.
Ava, on the other hand, is delighted, because it affords a lovely view of Atkin’s arse.
Dumbass Family sans Ava: We came, we pretended to care, now we want to be anywhere else.
Um, why does Georgia appear to have a goatee? WTF is up with these slimy skins? Ick.
(please note Ava’s baby-obsessed wants)
This is Dove being promoted and filling her LTW. Rock on, Dove.
Georgia’s skin bothered me so much, I quit the game and made my own in-between tone from the defaults I have. Much better.
Way to reach for the stars, kids. Fixate on food-based wants.
Ava, as always, sets about teaching Georgia useful things. Like talking.
And all of a sudden, Dove gets into it. Some might say that’s awfully convenient now that Ava’s done all the hard work. Oh, and I’m so not filling that want of another child.
I put Gabriel to work – he spent his entire toddler-hood attached to the xylophone, so now he is very creative. He can fill the house with portraits.
Gage, not so much, so I sent him to the ballet bar.
I decided to try and impress the headmaster, and filled the house with loads of expensive shit. Ava spent the entire day pondering every single item I purchased.
Until her husband got home from work, anyway.
That is exactly the look to go for when impressing a headmaster. Nipple out and crazy specs.
The headmaster simply stalks Dove. He’s so enamoured by her that the kids get into private school.
Gabriel: I think Grandma wants a present.
Gabriel: Because she said she wanted a pearl necklace from Dad.
Gage: We should buy her a dress to go with it.
Gage: Or maybe shoes.
Gabriel: Or make-up?
Gage: I saw an awesome hat that would be lovely for her.
So, the kids are gay, then?
Gabriel is clearly getting along well in a private school.
As is Gage.
Gabriel celebrates with his best friend.
I have no idea who these two are, and neither does Dumbass, but I love the guy in the foreground.
Birthday time again.