OMG, teh happinez! My computer blew up a few months ago, and after finally getting off my arse and installing The Sims, I found a back-up of my Clancy family on an old disc. Ok, I had played the kids up to college, and now Jake and Elwood are now toddlers, but whatever! I have Ava and Captain Dumbass back! Oh, the happiness.
If you cannot be bothered to catch up, the recap is: Ava is a family sim, and she is married to the ex-vampire, Captain Dumbass (whose name I have changed using InSim, so I have no idea what he was really called). They have six children (three lots of twins): Corey and Carrie, Dana and Dove, and Jake and Elwood.
Ava was murdered by the Nanny, and Captain Dumbass moved in The Not-Mum.
I love/hate them all, so I have no idea who might end up being heir. Although I do love Dove a little bit more than everyone else.
Oh, and another thing, the kids looked like chipmunks in my last update and now they all look like angels. I have not done anything to them to change their looks – the difference is: brand new computer with an extra gig of ram, heavenly default replacement skins, and me discovering Gadwin for awesome screen caps, and The Booty for pretty hair and clothing. Oh, and Dove and Ava’s hair are different in this update because I accidentally removed their meshes.
Downside of replacement skins? Ava’s right nipple is constantly on show. Ignore it.
Brand new house, and this was the first event. A random townie stole our newspaper. Oh, how heartbreaking.
So, I… um… dropped a sattelite on the Not-Mum, because she was pissing me off.
This will never get old.
So, quick look at how cute the kids look now I have pretty defaults. This is Carrie.
Dana – so very cute, you wouldn’t have known she was the “UGLIEST CHIPMUNK CHILD IN THE WORLD!” in the last update.
And Dove! My little Angel of prettiness! (Even though I think Dana is actually cuter.)
Dumbass might be dumb, but he is cute. His genetics might be horrible for the infants, but they’re worth growing into.
Carrie, you shouldn’t have to ask. That is a Bugatti Veyron, with a W16 engine, and 1,000 horsepower, a top speed of over 250mph, and you will show it some damned respect. Given that it’s such a masterpiece, it’s too good for Captain Dumbass, so it’s Ava’s new transportation.
So Ava gets the Bugatti, and Captain Dumbass gets the Koenigsegg. I wish I had bought a Mini or something for CD, but I was too excited about the nice cars.
Captain Dumbass endears himself to me by approving the Bugatti.
Then blows it by stalking into a wall.
This is Jake. Still a little chipmunk-y, but the new defaults help, and he’ll grow up to be a cutie.
As will Elwood.
Corey is having a whale of a time, while simultaneously losing influence points.
Dana is complaining that Dove is having a wee, and Dana wants to tickle her.
No, Carrie, that’s not Corey, it’s Dana.
Dana: I hate the world.
Dana: So, I’m going into politics.
Hey, Dove. What you doin’? Huggin’ a cow. That’s cool.
Corey and Dana prefer human interaction to hugging toys.
When did Captain Dumbass become dad of the year?
Dove: *has been zoned out for three sim hours*
Captain Dumbass: *remembers his other two children… finally*
Dove: *still refuses to move*
Captain Dumbass: I hate a woman I’ve never met!
This is not neglect. Captain Dumbass put Jake to bed, and Jake broke out to bitch and moan that he’s tired. That’ll be the Dumbass genetics coming in to play then.
Oh, yeah, what with Ava being dead and all, they were no longer married. I couldn’t be bothered to take loads of pictures this time around.
Me: *dies laughing at the idea of Captain Dumbass looking “thoughtful”*
WTF? Who cheated? Did the Not-Mum cheat? What’s his problem?
Um, oy! What are you doing to my Carrie?
Carrie: MOTHERFUCKER! I’M GOING TO CUT YOU UP, YOU BASTARD!
Back to normal.
Captain Dumbass grits his teeth at the idea of sleeping with his beloved wife.
Captain Dumbass: So, I notice that you’ve rolled a want to have 10 children… wanna get started?
Ava: *is clearly up for it*
They have beds, you know.
See, Carrie and Dana can figure it out.
Oh yeah, the evil makeover guy is still here, and now he has issues with Dove.
Evil Makeover Guy: Yo, Ava, I know you just woo-hoo’d your husband, and you were sleeping peacefully, but… high-five!
Ava: This is what you get for messing with my baby!
Said baby refuses to go to bed and plays in the tub. For hours. And hours.
Newsflash: default eyes make Corey look strange.
Dove finally interacts with another human being and wins. Just in case you missed it, Dove is pretty much guaranteed to be heir. Unless she dies. Or someone else does something interesting.
I give up, you stalk those plates if it makes you happy.
You again? Didn’t you steal our paper yesterday?
Yeah, that’ll really show Carrie. Except she’s never met you.
Yeah, Ava, your husband’s at work. That’s the maid.
Though I’ll agree, post-makeover, she’s quite the hottie. Pity she’s playing SX3, rather than cleaning though.
What is your childhood trauma? Why are you trashing our house? Don’t make me InSim you.
You’ve never met her, but you’re furious and… I don’t get it.
I’m terrified of this guy now.
<disturbing paedophile spam>
</disturbing paedophile spam>
I’m assuming this is a glitch based on the fact that I had no idea what I was doing when I forced the game to recognise this neighbourhood.
Either way, punishment for the freak.
Mid-punishment, two sets of twins incosiderately decided to get older.
You’ll notice that Jake is alone.
and now you’ll notice he has no face.
Elwood: *sleeps on* I’ll grow up when I’m good and ready!
Also, when he finally gets a face, he is without eyebrows.
Jake’s only new best friend.
Back to the punishment. I stole this idea from the Faraday Legacy.
I came up with this myself. Last time I used one of these I burnt down almost an entire building.
Jake, nobody cares. Suck up to Captain Dumbass all you want. Dove will be heir.
Corey: *impersonates owl*
Paedo: Um, hi! This fire is totally in my way.
Half Dumbass Family: OMFG! FIRE!
Other Half of Dumbass Family: DO THE SMUSTLE!
Dove: *still prefers to ignore humanity*
By the way, this is Boots. Dove adopted her.
Might have neglected to mention it, but Corey and Carrie grew up. They’re really growing into their looks.
The dog is called Kia, and the cat is called Boots. The entire family were all “OMG, want a pet, want a pet!”, so I caved. I’m already regretting it.
That’s right, bitch.
Dove: *still ignores humanity*
Elwood: *thinks his sister is weird*
Dove: *uses cow as voodoo doll*
The maid still refuses to clean. Or go home. Or really do anything except socialise.
LEAVE THE HEIR ALONE! IF YOU LET GO SHE’LL GO FLYING OFF AND LAND IN BLUEWATER! LEAVE HER BE!
Captain Dumbass, leave your firstborn alone. She does not need to be “bleh!!”-ed at.
Aside from anything else: YOU ARE NO LONGER A VAMPIRE!
Corey “hangs out” and has an enjoyable conversation. Without anyone else.
And this is Carrie’s response.
Yay, he’s finally dying!
Death: *changes into his brown everyday/casual robes because he’s not wasting the scary black ones on this weirdo*
Ava: *laughs her ass off at random townie trying to dance*
You know, Ava, you could just ask him to leave, rather than humiliating him.
Corey has third-person pretentions.
Five lots of fail in one screen. Awesome.
Dove has grown up into a beautiful angel.
As has Dana, for that matter.
So, weird thing. You will be aware from the paedo above that this is a rather glitchy neighbourhood, but this glitch gets the win.
I moved all six of the kids to uni, where I couldn’t get any of them to register a major. I then realised that they all had finished college, according to the computer.
The only options available were to go downtown, or to move back home. So I sent them downtown, in the vague hopes that they would actually have the odd memory of college. At this point, Gadwin turned off. Epic fail. I have no pictures, except for their age transitions.
Oh, and this Fairly Good Looking Guy is mad about Dove, even though she’s never met him. Better than mad at, I suppose.
Elwood (who looks embarrassed)
It’s Harry fucking Potter (aka Jake) – plus annoying thought bubble that wouldn’t go away.
Corey – congrats on transitioning into a good outfit. You get the win.
Carrie looks demonic.
Dana pulls cute faces at me. Too late, cutie, you’re not heir.
That’s because this lady is.
Side note that had to make it. Jake’s mad about this girl. Harry/Ginny = OTP!
Dove rolled Fortune, with a lifetime want of getting to the top of the gamer career. She originally rolled the want to marry off six children, but since Captain Dumbass has that want, and it’s fucking impossible, I re-rolled. Plus, it didn’t seem very fortuney.
Side note: Ava’s lifetime want is to have six grandchildren, and I want an excellent death scene for her, because she’s already died once (thanks to the awful nanny), so Dove must start shagging for babies. I hate family sims.
Quick recap on everyone’s wants, etc.
This is Ava selling the dog to the maid. Nobody has shown it the blindest bit of attention since we got it, and the maid doesn’t fucking clean, so it’s a good fit. As it turns out, Jake spent weeks teaching it loads of commands, so we manage to get almost five grand when we sell it.
Fairly Good Looking Guy guy comes over, and this is how Dove greets him. Am tres confused. I don’t really remember them hooking up. I guess they just have lots of chemistry (and ACR doesn’t hurt!).
Huh, Fairly Good Looking Guy is hooking Dove up with a job. Cool.
Wait, what? Fairly Good Looking Guy is hooking Dove up with a job, but hasn’t got a job himself. And is a student still. *is suspicious about what kind of dancing Dove is going to have to do*
Oh, by the way, we’re moving Fairly Good Looking Guy in. His name is Atkins.
Cute,yes? And blue eyes. It might be nice to breed out the green eyes.
That’s right kids, get with the baby-making.
I see Dove has inherited her mother’s cast-iron stomach.
Dove: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
Dove: You should just grow the fuck up. You’re not a vampire. You’re just some aging goth who’s seen Queen of the Damned too many times. Loser.
Dove: You should either stop pretending to be a vampire, or buy a new house.
Captain Dumbass: Fuck that, this is my house. I’m not buying another one.
Captain Dumbass: Wait! Stay! We can talk about books. They don’t even have to be written by Anne Rice.
No, Dumbass, that’s a cat, not your wife.
Dove and I make a bad choice on a chance card, and she gets demoted. She doesn’t seem to notice.
Wait for it.
Ava comes home at the same time, and thoughtfully does not brag about being awesome around her failing daughter.
Neither does Atkins when he gets home.
Dove was all emo, so I decided to get her back in the happy place by proposing to Atkins.
Ava, are you serving cheesecake?
Ava: Dove was craving it, I swear!
(Good thing I’ve made her other children shag for babies too. Dove only has to pop out three.)
Dove: I’m totally going to have sex soon.
Dove: SEX NOW.
One track minds, all of them.
Oy, random woman! Get away from our not-gnome.
Ava: What thestalkysims said!
Ava gets fiercely pissed off when the not-gnome gets stolen, but this is the face she pulls when I tell her to go tell off the thief.
She gets into it though.
And does this part autonomously!
I love it when Ava seethes.
Ava: I’m so cross I’m going to stick my boobs out at you!
Oooh, burn. You just got pwnd by a woman with no fashion sense, in front of the ghost of the Not-Mum.
I don’t call him Captain Dumbass for nothing.
Hi thar Not-Mum.
Oooh, you steal that invisible newspaper, that’ll show us. Gosh, now our maid will have one less thing to pick up. We’ve really learnt our lesson.
In other news, Dove hates the Not-Mum.
Good luck on “Bleh!!!”-ing a ghost. I fully support you in this endeavour.
I love how Ava has completely zoned out in this shot.
Also, check out the Not-Mum. She’s floating around in formal wear. What a polite ghost.
Atkins: OMG! The fetuses just totally gave me spoilers on Heroes! Bastards.
Get a hobby.
Side note: Dove has no real interest in any of the hobbies on offer. Weirdo.
The invisible newspaper stealer is back.
Pop! And she woke up Atkins to do it.
Stop. Baby time!