People: Ken the Bullying Lawyer

Ken was the head of my department. He was charming. He farted all the time. He sneezed on me repeatedly. I took to keeping wet wipes in my desk to wipe off the snot. I’m not joking. He also shouted at me to “Shut up!” when someone (not me) brought in their baby and it started crying. Why me? Because the baby’s mother was the secretary of John the Very Important Asshat and it would be bad form to upset the secretary of someone that important.